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Star Trek Catan Board Game
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From the Geek & Sundry channel:

Transcript from Geek & Sundry:

" WIL WHEATON: Space, the final frontier, is where I spent a lot of time as a child. It was awesome. Today on TableTop, Jeri Ryan, Kari Wahlgren, and my son, Ryan Wheaton, are all here to play an updated version of the classic hobby game Settlers of Catan. Our mission is to seek out new resources, to boldly build new ship supply lines, outposts, and starbases, to avoid the robber and be the first to achieve 10 victory points by settling the final frontier.

This is Star Trek Catan. One to beam up. [THEME MUSIC] WIL WHEATON: Star Trek Catan is an insanely fun upgrade of the original Settlers of Catan. All of the rules are essentially the same. So we hired a Settlers of Catan expert-- he's amazing. We blew our budget on him to tell you how the rules work. Take it away, me from last season. The first person to reach 10 victory points wins the game.

You get victory points by collecting and managing resources. You get resources when one of the settlements you have built is adjacent to a tile that has spawned a resource. We find out which tiles spawn resources every turn by rolling dice. No one will have enough resources on their own to build the roads, settlements, and cities they need to win the game. So we will all have to barter and trade with each other. Just like in real life, there are nasty surprises waiting for you.

Whenever we roll a seven, the robber gets activated, and he steals from you. We hate the robber. The robber is a [BLEEP]. But if you get robbed, it's not the end of the world. There are other ways to get victory points-- having the longest road, having the largest army, or you can also trade in resources to buy these development cards. Now, here the thematic differences in Star Trek Catan.

Our roads are now starship supply lines. Our settlements are outposts. Our cities are starbases. The robber is now a very cool-looking Klingon battle cruiser, but he's still a [BLEEP], and we still hate him. Now, what makes Star Trek Catan so much more than just Catan in cosplay are these role cards. Every player gets to be a member of the original series crew. Each role lets you do something special and useful on your turn.

For example, if someone is refusing to trade with you, you can be Lieutenant Uhura and force them to trade a resource of your choosing. If you're having bad luck rolling the dice and not getting resources, you need, hi, I'm Mr. Spock. I'll take whatever I want from the bank. Oh no, somebody activated the robber. I'm in trouble. Not if I'm Captain Kirk. Captain Kirk is basically immune from the robber. Aw, I put one of my starship supply lines in a place that I don't want it to be, and I want to move it.

Not a problem for Mr. Sulu. Oh my! Each role can be played a maximum of two times before it has to be returned to the bank and exchanged for a new one. Plot a course for the final frontier. It is time to play Star Trek Catan. JERI RYAN: Hi. I'm Jeri Ryan. I'm an actress. I'm right now on "Body of Proof" on ABC, but I'm probably best known for Seven of Nine on "Star Trek Voyager.

" KARI WAHLGREN: I'm Kari Wahlgren. And I'm a voice-over and on-camera actress in Los Angeles. RYAN WHEATON: Hi. My name is Ryan Wheaton. And I'm best known for being Wil Wheaton's son. And that's about it. WIL WHEATON: Welcome, everybody, to Star Trek Settlers of Catan. JERI RYAN: Thank you. WIL WHEATON: Did you make your ships like a Star Trek logo? RYAN WHEATON: I tried to, but I got cut off.

WIL WHEATON: That's great. JERI RYAN: Nice, nice. WIL WHEATON: No, it's nice. So take care of the ship and add it down, because you want to put it on the bottom there. JERI RYAN: All right. WIL WHEATON: All right. So Jeri, you get first placement. JERI RYAN: All right. I'm going there.

WIL WHEATON: All right. Excellent. And where will your first starship supply route be? JERI RYAN: And I am going there. WIL WHEATON: OK, great. My first placement is going to be-- RYAN WHEATON: Don't do it. KARI WAHLGREN: Don't do it. RYAN WHEATON: Don't do it. JERI RYAN: Oh.

KARI WAHLGREN: Hmm. WIL WHEATON: All right. KARI WAHLGREN: I am going to take that spot. JERI RYAN: Ooh. WIL WHEATON: Wow, I hate that you did that so much. Like, I really hate that you did that. KARI WAHLGREN: Wow. WIL WHEATON: Like, I "Phantom Menace" hate that. That's how much I hate that you did that. KARI WAHLGREN: Oh, and that's a lot.

WIL WHEATON: That's a lot, yeah. KARI WAHLGREN: That's a lot there. JERI RYAN: That's big hate. WIL WHEATON: Wow, OK. I see how it is. RYAN WHEATON: I am going to go here. KARI WAHLGREN: No! WIL WHEATON: See? Welcome to my world. RYAN WHEATON: OK, no, I'm going to go here. JERI RYAN: All right.

That's crapola, dude. WIL WHEATON: Ryan, you get your second placement. Place your second outpost, and you'll get resources this placement. RYAN WHEATON: I'm going to go here. JERI RYAN: Oh, are you? RYAN WHEATON: Yes. JERI RYAN: I had it all plotted out, and I had it ready to go at the beginning. And then Ryan comes in and just hoses me.

So yeah, now it's all out the window. RYAN WHEATON: I placed over there in the hopes of getting a lot more food. I'm trying to get to that one little trading post. WIL WHEATON: All right. So you're going to get a tritanium and a food. Kari, go ahead and place your second outpost and collect your first resource. JERI RYAN: Oh come on, really? KARI WAHLGREN: Yes.

JERI RYAN: Ugh. KARI WAHLGREN: Yes. WIL WHEATON: Look at that. KARI WAHLGREN: Ooh. JERI RYAN: This game is killer. KARI WAHLGREN: It hurts so good! WIL WHEATON: They have boxed you in. KARI WAHLGREN: Let me see. WIL WHEATON: That's terrible. JERI RYAN: I just got hosed. WIL WHEATON: Wow.

All right. So you get a food, a water, and an oxygen. That's-- I really wanted to go there. Where I really wanted to go is a place I can't go, which I really don't like. And I'm not thinking I want to do that. That's splitting it up. That's a bad idea. But maybe that's the way to go. [LAUGHTER] JERI RYAN: Is he schizophrenic at home? RYAN WHEATON: I think so.

JERI RYAN: Is it like this all the time? WIL WHEATON: I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to. Kari, you really hosed the strategy I was-- JERI RYAN: Seriously. KARI WAHLGREN: Thank you. WIL WHEATON: I had built the strategy in my head, like I had this thing all worked out. I was all ready to go. I honestly have no idea how I am going to keep up in this game.

You have to accept it. You have to be OK with it. And you have to just decide that you're going to play here. JERI RYAN: OK. All right. Ready? I'm going. WIL WHEATON: Yeah? Where are you going? JERI RYAN: Right there.

WIL WHEATON: OK. JERI RYAN: And I am going right-- WIL WHEATON: You get food, and you get dilithium. JERI RYAN: Where am I going? WIL WHEATON: And you get tritanium. JERI RYAN: I'm going to go right there for now. OK. WIL WHEATON: All right. JERI RYAN: Yeah, do I go first now? WIL WHEATON: Jeri, you go first.

JERI RYAN: Oh boy. WIL WHEATON: Why don't you roll the dice and see what happens? JERI RYAN: Woo-hoo! Here we go. WIL WHEATON: Roll a six or an eight. That'd be great. Or a two. JERI RYAN: Two. Or a two. WIL WHEATON: A two also works.

JERI RYAN: Which helps no one at all. WIL WHEATON: Nobody's on the two. No resources. JERI RYAN: Nope, nobody. WIL WHEATON: What would you like to do? JERI RYAN: I am buying a starship. WIL WHEATON: All right. JERI RYAN: In spite of your son's best efforts, I am going to buy a starship. WIL WHEATON: All right. You're going to buy a starship.

RYAN WHEATON: You're going to go with that starship. JERI RYAN: Here. RYAN WHEATON: OK, you can do that. It's fine. JERI RYAN: I'll be sure to ask Ryan. RYAN WHEATON: Everybody, make sure you ask me before you go. WIL WHEATON: On Jeri's turn, I'm going to play Spock. All right. I'm going to play Spock. I'm going to keep him to use a second time because I feel like he's probably going to be useful.

And I'm going to go ahead and grab a dilithium from the bank. Mr. Spock is a terrific early game character because he just lets you grab a resource that you need. And he lets you grab a resource that you don't even have an outpost on. It's really, really powerful. JERI RYAN: Oh, but you know what I am going to do-- because I can play mine now, right? WIL WHEATON: You can, yeah. Sulu can-- you can move your ship wherever you want.

JERI RYAN: My friend Sulu is being played once, and then he's getting the hell away from me. WIL WHEATON: OK, very well. JERI RYAN: But-- until later in the game, when he might be useful again-- but-- WIL WHEATON: Oh, I know what you're doing. Where are you plotting a course for? JERI RYAN: Shut up. KARI WAHLGREN: Oh. And the drinking game begins. JERI RYAN: And slam.

RYAN WHEATON: Plotting a course, plotting a course, plotting a course. I just got some guy hammered. WIL WHEATON: Oh, man. Some guy just passed out. JERI RYAN: I'm going to go that way. Yeah. WIL WHEATON: OK. JERI RYAN: There we go. WIL WHEATON: Five. Five is going to be-- JERI RYAN: Sweet! WIL WHEATON: --oxygen for Jeri and for Ryan.

Whoa, that's weird. I just said your name. RYAN WHEATON: There can be only one. JERI RYAN: Indeed you did. WIL WHEATON: And that's going to be tritanium for Kari. KARI WAHLGREN: Yes. WIL WHEATON: Nothing for me again. RYAN WHEATON: You need your random Spock card? WIL WHEATON: Which means I'm gonna use-- JERI RYAN: You're using old Spock. WIL WHEATON: Which means I'm gonna use my Spock.

JERI RYAN: He's coming in handy right off the bat. WIL WHEATON: Yep. I'm going to use my Spock to get some-- RYAN WHEATON: Not on TV, you're not. WIL WHEATON: --get some oxygen. Now who do I want to be? Who do I want to be? I'm going to take Chekov. It's going to be Chekov. Because I feel something is about to happen.

Now, do I have anything-- JERI RYAN: Magic? Is it magic that's going to happen? WIL WHEATON: Magic might happen. Do I have anything that I want to trade at this moment in spacetime? Unless somebody is particularly interested in trading me something for water-- is there anyone around here who needs water? Anybody? Anybody? No? Very good.

Kari, it is your turn. KARI WAHLGREN: Mm, all right. Seven! WIL WHEATON: That's actually really bad for me because I have too many cards. JERI RYAN: Crapola? Nice. WIL WHEATON: I have too many cards. Hold on.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. I gotta get rid of four cards. JERI RYAN: Nice! WIL WHEATON: I'm going to keep that. KARI WAHLGREN: I'm going to put this here. JERI RYAN: Excellent choice. I support that choice. KARI WAHLGREN: And I'm going to steal a card from you. All right. I'm taking-- JERI RYAN: Is that hurting? KARI WAHLGREN: --this one here.

[LAUGHING] WIL WHEATON: You know what I just did? "Matrix." Bzhoom! All right. That could have been a lot worse. RYAN WHEATON: OK. Here we go. I'm going to roll. Come on, anything that will give me stuff. Yeah, that. 11. WIL WHEATON: 11! KARI WAHLGREN: 11.

WIL WHEATON: [SQUEALS] RYAN WHEATON: Oh, wait, wait, wait. WIL WHEATON: No, it's the robber, you bitch! KARI WAHLGREN: Yes, yay! WIL WHEATON: I hate you. KARI WAHLGREN: But I get a dilithium. WIL WHEATON: I hate you. You get a dilithium. RYAN WHEATON: I don't get anything. But that was fun anyways. JERI RYAN: Uh-oh.

Oh-- WIL WHEATON: Captain me. What are you doing there? RYAN WHEATON: As Uhura, I do need a dilithium, and somebody just got one. JERI RYAN: That's crap. KARI WAHLGREN: Uh-oh. WIL WHEATON: It's not me this time. JERI RYAN: You raised him wrong. WIL WHEATON: I raised him right. RYAN WHEATON: I'll give you some food in exchange.

JERI RYAN: Oh, thank you so much. RYAN WHEATON: Uhura's pretty good because I can really mess with Jeri. And that's my goal so far is just to-- there can only be one Ryan, and she's kind of encroaching on my territory, so. WIL WHEATON: I've been playing Settlers of Catan with Ryan since he was about eight years old. And I am so glad that he and I have not had any direct confrontations, because he's really good at this game. JERI RYAN: Payback's a bitch, dude.

It's coming. You're hurting me. You're hurting. All right, six. WIL WHEATON: Six! That's going to be a tritanium for me, which makes me happy. RYAN WHEATON: That's a nine, Wil. WIL WHEATON: And that's going to be water for Kari and water for Jeri. KARI WAHLGREN: Oh, thank you, sir. RYAN WHEATON: So now we can't do nothing.

JERI RYAN: Since I won't be building my starship anymore-- RYAN WHEATON: She keeps yelling at me. JERI RYAN: Thank you ever so much. WIL WHEATON: She has a lot of feelings about that. RYAN WHEATON: Yeah, she keeps yelling. JERI RYAN: I'm better. All right. I don't have anything to trade. I have only development cards left. WIL WHEATON: All right, OK. KARI WAHLGREN: Hey, all right.

WIL WHEATON: So then I guess give me the dice. JERI RYAN: So I guess I'll give you the dice. WIL WHEATON: Now, before or after my production roll, I can move the spaceship. So I'm going to go ahead and do this. Nine. All right, dilithium for Kari, and where's the other? RYAN WHEATON: I'm glad it doesn't help me either way. JERI RYAN: Yeah, it helps Kari only. KARI WAHLGREN: And I get oxygen, as well. WIL WHEATON: Oh, and oxygen.

Wow. All right. Chekov is going to make the Klingon wessel return there. He's going to draw me a water off of there, which is awesome. And I'm going to build a starbase. RYAN WHEATON: Fancy. KARI WAHLGREN: Fancy. WIL WHEATON: So here's my two water. Here's my three oxygen. JERI RYAN: D'oh.

WIL WHEATON: Here's my starbase. RYAN WHEATON: Uh, it's three water, two oxygen there, buddy. WIL WHEATON: Son of a [BLEEP]! Why did I do that backwards? Stupid. You know what? And I traded it backwards when I got rid of stuff earlier. JERI RYAN: Oh. KARI WAHLGREN: Oh. JERI RYAN: Now I actually feel bad for you.

I actually genuinely do feel bad because that sucks. WIL WHEATON: I have had a brain cloud all day. The resources are different. The colors are different. And I just mixed up the ratio of water to oxygen. I could have leapt out to a lead. And now I'm just sort of ironically treading water. OK, I hate my life and pass the dice to you. KARI WAHLGREN: It's a "Star Trek" game, but I've done the voice of Jedis in at least three "Star Wars" video games, so I think I'm going to use the Force a little bit.

Going to roll. And si-- WIL WHEATON: Seven. KARI WAHLGREN: Oh, it is seven. RYAN WHEATON: Yeah. How many cards do you got in your hand there, buddy? WIL WHEATON: So how many cards do you have, Kari? RYAN WHEATON: Uh-oh. KARI WAHLGREN: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. WIL WHEATON: Oh, safe. KARI WAHLGREN: I'm safe.

WIL WHEATON: All right. KARI WAHLGREN: Ooh! WIL WHEATON: All right. You're all kinds of safe. Where will you put the Klingon wessel? KARI WAHLGREN: You know, I kind of like him where he is. Can I just leave him there? WIL WHEATON: You can't. JERI RYAN: No, you have to move him. KARI WAHLGREN: Oh, I gotta move him. RYAN WHEATON: They're bored.

You gotta move them. KARI WAHLGREN: All right. Going to put it-- JERI RYAN: What? KARI WAHLGREN: --here. JERI RYAN: Really? The, like, female bonding not happening? WIL WHEATON: Oh, don't even try to do that. JERI RYAN: She was playing the innocent. Oh, I don't know how to play this. Oh, is this what I do? And she's building starbases and the whole nine yards.

KARI WAHLGREN: I am going to name my starbase K Town. WIL WHEATON: Sweet. Starbase K Town. RYAN WHEATON: Kari is silent but deadly. Well, no, she's not really silent. She's kind of quirky and cute. And everybody's like, oh, look, she's so nice. And then she stabs you when you're not looking. KARI WAHLGREN: Well, guys, I think I'm going to build a starship, please. JERI RYAN: We gotta watch her.

She's a sly one, I think. RYAN WHEATON: I'm going to build a starshippy thing with the food. And I'm going to have to get rid of this guy because-- JERI RYAN: That was the second time. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, it's the second time. JERI RYAN: That's true. WIL WHEATON: But I think it's great that you have made like the USS Cafeteria. It's just all food.

RYAN WHEATON: That's kind of all I got going now. JERI RYAN: They'll eat well. KARI WAHLGREN: That's good, that's good. It's important. WIL WHEATON: Food and tritanium. That's great, that's great. KARI WAHLGREN: Love it, love it. JERI RYAN: That's important. WIL WHEATON: Don't fly too close to any suns. Your nacelles will melt because, as it turns out-- JERI RYAN: They're made of chocolate.

WIL WHEATON: They're made of cream cheese. Here's your largest-- RYAN WHEATON: They're made of cream cheese. JERI RYAN: Oh! WIL WHEATON: I gave you the wrong card. Sorry, I gave him the wrong card. Largest supply route. RYAN WHEATON: I'll take both. That's fine. WIL WHEATON: No, you'll just take largest supply route. RYAN WHEATON: Longest supply line was usually my strategy for games like this, just because I can kind of quarantine myself and kind of keep people away from me.

But as of now, it wasn't my initial strategy. Just because these are the only cards I've been getting, so it's kind of what I've been doing, just getting rid of cards and hoping for the best. WIL WHEATON: Now this is going to happen. JERI RYAN: Oh god. WIL WHEATON: Hey everybody, I got Utopia Planitia. When you play this progress card-- JERI RYAN: Oh, that's a good one. WIL WHEATON: --you may immediately build two starships for free.

JERI RYAN: Oh! KARI WAHLGREN: Oh! [WIL HUMMING "STAR TREK THE NEXT GENERATION THEME"] JERI RYAN: Oh, the tables are turning. Oh, my god. WIL WHEATON: [SINGING] Building ships. [LAUGHTER] RYAN WHEATON: The steel drum version. [WIL CONTINUES HUMMING] RYAN WHEATON: It's nice to play with Wil.

Because we play at home all the time, and it's just as goofy and just as awkward. WIL WHEATON: [SINGING] Reggae style. RYAN WHEATON: He messes up, actually, quite a lot more at home. But he can cuss a lot more and drink beer to fix it, so. WIL WHEATON: Oh god. Oh god! Ah! Oh, sh-- OK, OK, OK.

JERI RYAN: Five. WIL WHEATON: OK, OK. JERI RYAN: I get an oxygen. WIL WHEATON: OK, you get an oxygen. RYAN WHEATON: I get oxygen, too. KARI WAHLGREN: Wait-- WIL WHEATON: Ryan gets an oxygen. Kari gets a tritanium. I actually get to do a useful thing, which I can't believe. JERI RYAN: Please whine more and tell me how much more you're suffering while you build a starbase.

WIL WHEATON: I do have to build a stupid starbase. JERI RYAN: That sucks. WIL WHEATON: OK. Hold on. So that-- JERI RYAN: Sucks to be you. WIL WHEATON: It sucks the most. Wait a minute. You know what else sucks not really as much as I thought? RYAN WHEATON: You can do it. WIL WHEATON: What also sucks is that I didn't get any resources this turn when I rolled the dice.

So Spock is all, hey, captain, you know that tritanium that the Borg assimilated from you? I found it. It turns out it was in the couch. KARI WAHLGREN: Nice, the space couch. RYAN WHEATON: I also found $0.50, plus a whole sandwich. JERI RYAN: And some dusty crackers. WIL WHEATON: And the remote control. We didn't need to get that universal remote after all. I'm also going to build an outpost. KARI WAHLGREN: Aw! WIL WHEATON: I'll build an outpost right here.

JERI RYAN: Oh, this game has gotten ugly. WIL WHEATON: Getting a starbase, an outpost, and two roads in two turns is unheard of. The only reason I am in this game at all? I have gotten unbelievably lucky in this last turn. OK. No! JERI RYAN: Oh, he's got a handful. So do you.

WIL WHEATON: Ahhh! KHAN! [SCREAMING STILL AUDIBLE] RYAN WHEATON: Jesus Christ. KARI WAHLGREN: I am literally weeping. RYAN WHEATON: So what happened? JERI RYAN: Shall I pick for you? Should I make it less painful for you? WIL WHEATON: D'oh.

RYAN WHEATON: I think you have more than seven cards, too. JERI RYAN: Kari, you got a lot more than seven over there, too. KARI WAHLGREN: Protection from the seven! JERI RYAN: Oh no! KARI WAHLGREN: Oh, Captain Kirk, thank you so much. JERI RYAN: Oh my god. KARI WAHLGREN: You're so-- JERI RYAN: Oh my god. She's never going to lose a card over there. KARI WAHLGREN: And I'm going to take a resource of my choice.

I'm so happy right now. RYAN WHEATON: You can't do that. WIL WHEATON: You can't. JERI RYAN: She's weeping. KARI WAHLGREN: I can't. JERI RYAN: Oh no, you get one or the other. RYAN WHEATON: You can take a resource. I would do that instead. KARI WAHLGREN: You may immediately use-- WIL WHEATON: All right. One small consolation I have.

RYAN WHEATON: There's a consolation after all that yelling. WIL WHEATON: Is that these filthy Klingons fly around the galaxy-- JERI RYAN: They damn well better be coming to your son. WIL WHEATON: --and they come down to this outpost here. KARI WAHLGREN: You know, really? WIL WHEATON: Well, you have so many cards, it doesn't matter. One of them is bound to help me unless it's food. KARI WAHLGREN: These are not the cards you're looking for. RYAN WHEATON: Unless it's not a card.

Everything's comin' up Milhouse. WIL WHEATON: Lieutenant Uhura's opening up hailing frequencies. JERI RYAN: Oh, god. WIL WHEATON: And she is demanding tritanium from you. KARI WAHLGREN: OK. WIL WHEATON: Which I know you have because I know you drew it. KARI WAHLGREN: You don't need that card, Wil. I don't have it.

WIL WHEATON: What? KARI WAHLGREN: I don't have it. WIL WHEATON: How? What? Why? KARI WAHLGREN: I do not have it. WIL WHEATON: You-- but I-- uh-- There are only two scientific explanations for what's happening in this game. One, Kari is a witch.

Number two, Kari is using the Force to manipulate the dice, which is a gigantic dick move anyway, but it's a double dick move because this is "Star Trek." RYAN WHEATON: Is it OK to hate her? WIL WHEATON: Sure, I have so many outposts all over the board-- JERI RYAN: I can't keep track of them. WIL WHEATON: --I don't even know what my resources are. RYAN WHEATON: My hands are tired from holding all these cards. They get so heavy.

I'm going to have to switch hands. WIL WHEATON: My forearms hurt. JERI RYAN: She has an entire deck of resource cards. She could build an actual spaceship out of just the resource cards. KARI WAHLGREN: I'm going to-- WIL WHEATON: I think that the place where you keep the unused people should be called the transporter room. Because they're preparing to beam up to wherever you are. JERI RYAN: To beam up.

Isn't that cute? That's just cute. KARI WAHLGREN: You know what? WIL WHEATON: Was it awesome the first time you got to do the-- I was so excited the first time I got to be beamed somewhere. KARI WAHLGREN: Oh! JERI RYAN: That I did think was cool. WIL WHEATON: That was the best thing, right? JERI RYAN: I was never a "Star Trek" fan before I did it.

So yeah. The rest of it was, I was like, my god, you get a comm badge. But beaming up was cool. WIL WHEATON: Or the first time that you were like on the bridge or whatever. And they're like, OK, we're going to-- we're in a fight now. Do you have the scale? JERI RYAN: OK, ready? WIL WHEATON: Did you have the fight-- JERI RYAN: Ready? OK, hit.

WIL WHEATON: How much-- JERI RYAN: Hit. Shimmy. Hit. That was our life. That was it. KARI WAHLGREN: That is awesome. JERI RYAN: High-five, dude. BOTH: Yeah! [LAUGHTER] KARI WAHLGREN: That's about the coolest thing I've ever seen.

That was a work of art right there. WIL WHEATON: The "Star Trek" spaceship bump is one of the very few things that is the common language of "Star Trek" that binds every "Star Trek" actor together regardless of what ship you served on-- I mean, show you were on. Shields are definitely down right now. JERI RYAN: May have been a nacelle damage involved. KARI WAHLGREN: On a scale of 1 to 10. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, there might even have been. RYAN WHEATON: I think we should get a film of that.

WIL WHEATON: Yeah, that could have happened. Yeah. Yeah. KARI WAHLGREN: This is gold. RYAN WHEATON: Wil tends to tell a lot of "Star Trek" stories to people that understand them, because my mom and I don't really watch that stuff. It's fun for him to repeat them over and over again to people that haven't heard them. So I figure he's just like an old grandpa. He might as well keep saying it, have somebody listen to him.

WIL WHEATON: [SIGH] JERI RYAN: [SIGH] Now remember what I said about a seven. I wasn't kidding. RYAN WHEATON: Oh boy. WIL WHEATON: What's happening? JERI RYAN: Remember I'm in kicking distance. WIL WHEATON: And 12. Craps. RYAN WHEATON: I have to roll not a seven for fear of my life.

WIL WHEATON: Oh, you're dead. JERI RYAN: Oh, you little-- WIL WHEATON: You're in so much trouble right now. RYAN WHEATON: I feel a little threatened by Jeri, yes. Can somebody walk me to my car? Is that OK? JERI RYAN: OK. Damn it. WIL WHEATON: That's why you always gotta check your math. JERI RYAN: Damn it! WIL WHEATON: Where's the Klingon wessel gonna go, Ryan? RYAN WHEATON: Ooh, that's gonna go right here, where everybody is.

WIL WHEATON: Oh, you are a terrible human being. KARI WAHLGREN: Crikey! RYAN WHEATON: I'm going to take from Kari, because she's winning and stuff. KARI WAHLGREN: All right. RYAN WHEATON: I want the card at the end of your index finger. KARI WAHLGREN: This one? RYAN WHEATON: No, one-- there you go. That one.

KARI WAHLGREN: This one? RYAN WHEATON: Yeah. KARI WAHLGREN: OK. Can you hand this down to your offspring? WIL WHEATON: I can. There you go. RYAN WHEATON: All right. I have food, and I need anything except that. JERI RYAN: No. [LAUGHTER] WIL WHEATON: Make it so.

KARI WAHLGREN: OK. First, I'm going to do the Starfleet intervenes. And Jeri, do you want to do the honors? JERI RYAN: Freedom! WIL WHEATON: Guess who has the longest Starfleet army now? KARI WAHLGREN: Take the largest Starfleet army. That's a great little two victory points. WIL WHEATON: Two, four, six-- you have eight points. You are two points away from victory. RYAN WHEATON: Everybody, team up on Kari.

This is ridiculous. KARI WAHLGREN: I'd like it over on Wil's. There you go. JERI RYAN: Ooh, let me help you out there. WIL WHEATON: But why? JERI RYAN: Let's analyze. WIL WHEATON: But I'm not even-- but look. I'm leaving everyone alone. JERI RYAN: All right. OK. KARI WAHLGREN: Now, here's my question.

Can I build something before I roll, or do I have to roll first? RYAN WHEATON: You have to roll first. WIL WHEATON: You have to roll first. KARI WAHLGREN: OK. I'm going to roll. Eight. WIL WHEATON: Eight. RYAN WHEATON: Food! WIL WHEATON: Two dilithium for Wil. And all the food in the galaxy for Ryan.

RYAN WHEATON: Mm. WIL WHEATON: Listen. I'm Ryan's dad, and I worry about him. He's an adult, but he's still my little boy. He is really, really eating a lot of food. RYAN WHEATON: Potato chips. KARI WAHLGREN: I am going to build a starbase. JERI RYAN: Of course you are. You just win the game if she does that, doesn't she? WIL WHEATON: No, no, she's at nine.

RYAN WHEATON: She has to replace one. You guys are going to have to team up on her. WIL WHEATON: Kari's at nine. KARI WAHLGREN: I'm going to put this-- WIL WHEATON: Kari's at nine. We got a kill screen coming, guys. Kill screen. Kill screen coming. KARI WAHLGREN: --there. JERI RYAN: That's not cool. It's not cool, Kari.

It's really uncool. WIL WHEATON: Kari's at nine. KARI WAHLGREN: It's tense. It's neck and neck. Wil could take it on any hand. I could take it on any hand. It's going to come down to the cards. WIL WHEATON: What the other players don't know is that the game we're actually playing is "Don't say, 'Shut up, Wesley,' to Wil," and I am destroying that game. RYAN WHEATON: All right.

Eight. WIL WHEATON: Eight. JERI RYAN: Again. RYAN WHEATON: Food! WIL WHEATON: More dilithium for Wil. Even more food for Ryan. JERI RYAN: God. WIL WHEATON: That's actually really good for you. RYAN WHEATON: Anybody want food for any reason? I'll take, like, anything else. No? KARI WAHLGREN: I would-- RYAN WHEATON: You can suck it.

[LAUGHTER] JERI RYAN: Anyone else. RYAN WHEATON: Vending machine out of order. I'm going to do three food and this for a development card, please. WIL WHEATON: All right. There you go. RYAN WHEATON: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: Yep, you got it. RYAN WHEATON: And then I'm going to cry myself to sleep. WIL WHEATON: All right, Jeri, you go.

JERI RYAN: Nice. RYAN WHEATON: Roll a seven. WIL WHEATON: Three. RYAN WHEATON: All right, food for me. JERI RYAN: I get a tritanium. WIL WHEATON: Tritanium for Ms. Ryan. And then-- that's weird. More food for Ryan. RYAN WHEATON: I keep thinking you're calling me Ms. Ryan. I'm like, why is his son-- [INTERPOSING VOICES] JERI RYAN: There's a ship.

WIL WHEATON: Yep, there's a starship. JERI RYAN: And he's going to go-- RYAN WHEATON: I don't think I've ever had an oxygen card in my hand. JERI RYAN: Here. WIL WHEATON: Uh-huh. JERI RYAN: Five, six, seven, eight. Ooh, one, two, three, four, five, six-- WIL WHEATON: You've tied him. Gotta get one more. JERI RYAN: OK.

All right, fine. So I get nothing. WIL WHEATON: All right. JERI RYAN: I'll pass that on. WIL WHEATON: I'll take both of them, if that's OK with you. JERI RYAN: Oh, maybe both of them. RYAN WHEATON: Seven. You get to roll a one, Wil. That's all you'll get. WIL WHEATON: All right. OK.

Here we go. Five. OK, the first thing that's going to happen is that Chekov sends the Klingon wessel back there, and he gives me a tritanium. RYAN WHEATON: I get two oxygen. This is the first time I've had oxygen. JERI RYAN: Where's five? WIL WHEATON: Now let's do five. Five's here. JERI RYAN: I get an oxygen? WIL WHEATON: That's an oxygen for Jeri.

JERI RYAN: I get an oxygen! RYAN WHEATON: I get two oxygen. WIL WHEATON: That's two oxygens for Ryan. RYAN WHEATON: Yes! WIL WHEATON: And where's the other-- RYAN WHEATON: They're like holographic Pokemon cards. WIL WHEATON: So that's going to be a tritanium for me, two more tritaniums for you. JERI RYAN: Damn. WIL WHEATON: All right, first thing-- OK, so let's do this.

JERI RYAN: You know, if you're going to show me your hand, I am going to look at it. You know that. WIL WHEATON: That's fine, because I'm getting rid of all my cards on this move. That, that-- these will turn into oxygen because of my port. And then this oxygen is going to be there. And then these four dilithium are going to turn into water with the bank. So that turns into a starbase.

And that starbase-- I guess that starbase will go here. Boy, that was an expensive starbase. That was almost how much it costs to build a real starbase. RYAN WHEATON: It costs six paper cards in real life. WIL WHEATON: OK, so I think-- yeah, that's it. OK, Kari, your turn. Go. KARI WAHLGREN: OK. WIL WHEATON: OK.

Kari hosed me at the beginning. But I am one starbase away from stealing victory away from her. And if I do that, it is going to be so shiny. We're so close. We're so very, very close. RYAN WHEATON: Seven. WIL WHEATON: Seven. RYAN WHEATON: I'd like a free resource, please, because I have Kirk. WIL WHEATON: All right.

Which one would you like? RYAN WHEATON: I would like a green one. WIL WHEATON: Green one, coming up. There you go. RYAN WHEATON: Which is a word called dilithium. WIL WHEATON: OK, Kari, where's it going? KARI WAHLGREN: It's going to go on the six. WIL WHEATON: God [BLEEP]. Why? I just got it off. It doesn't need to be there.

There's literally nothing left on that planet. The Klingons have ruined that planet. They've wrecked it. KARI WAHLGREN: What can I do? RYAN WHEATON: You can give me the dice and forget all about it. JERI RYAN: She's got-- look at her hand of cards. WIL WHEATON: The cards on the left and the cards on the right are in different time zones. JERI RYAN: Seriously. WIL WHEATON: The cards are like, stardate 6123.

4, and the other ones are like, stardate 11. KARI WAHLGREN: On that last hand, I was just trying to figure out, how do I make the cards work to get that last point? And I couldn't upgrade to a starbase. And then it hit me. Build a starship, and then build the outpost. And that was the one point I needed to win. WIL WHEATON: Hey, guys, let's stop for a second. JERI RYAN: She did it! WIL WHEATON: Let's stop for a second and count some points up here.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Kari, you win Star Trek Catan. KARI WAHLGREN: Woo! WIL WHEATON: I've been thinking, it was really unlikely that any of us were going to catch Kari because she was rolling like a beast. JERI RYAN: Yeah. WIL WHEATON: And-- JERI RYAN: Had a gajillion and a half cards at any given moment.

Yeah. WIL WHEATON: So let's focus on the things that we have in common in addition to being losers on the show. Jeri, we're "Star Trek" alumni. That's pretty cool. JERI RYAN: That's true. WIL WHEATON: I dig that. OK. Ryan, we're father and son. I dig that as well. And Jeri and Ryan, you pretty much have the same name.

RYAN WHEATON: Aw, yeah. WIL WHEATON: So that means that we have just won a game that I've invented called "Make a Venn diagram." RYAN WHEATON: Woo-hoo. JERI RYAN: Sweet. WIL WHEATON: Yes! RYAN WHEATON: Ow, I just got hit. WIL WHEATON: I'm going to go downstairs. JERI RYAN: Your son whines a lot. WIL WHEATON: He does. Well, he gets it from his dad.

I'm going to go downstairs and give Kari her prize. Thanks for playing on the show. JERI RYAN: OK, thanks for having us. RYAN WHEATON: Punch her in the face for me. JERI RYAN: It was fun. You know this is your fault, right? RYAN WHEATON: [SIGH] KARI WAHLGREN: OK, that's hot. WIL WHEATON: It's very fancy and expensive. KARI WAHLGREN: That's very hot. That's-- yeah, it's sparkly.

WIL WHEATON: Yeah. Last season, everyone got to hold that trophy. But they didn't get to take it home, and that made me sad. So I want you to take home something special for today. So I invested what was left of our budget in these amazing certificates. KARI WAHLGREN: Oh my gosh! WIL WHEATON: The TableTop Certificate of Awesome. And I will put your name on it. KARI WAHLGREN: Excellent. WIL WHEATON: And then you'll get to go home with it.

KARI WAHLGREN: Oh, that's fantastic. WIL WHEATON: All right? So if you would just let me maybe write on your shoulders. KARI WAHLGREN: OK. WIL WHEATON: OK, great, all right. So we'll just change this from All State Haberdashery Champion to TableTop Champion, you know. KARI WAHLGREN: OK, awesome. W-A-H-L-G-R-E-N. WIL WHEATON: Yep, you are correct. Signed by your old pal, Wil Wheaton.

KARI WAHLGREN: Awesome. WIL WHEATON: And now all you need is an expensive seal. KARI WAHLGREN: [GASP] Yes. WIL WHEATON: Yeah, that's right. Yeah. All right? KARI WAHLGREN: Yes. WIL WHEATON: Go ahead. Make a speech. KARI WAHLGREN: I gotta tell you, as a young girl having a picture of Wil in my Trapper Keeper, this is going right next to it in the Trapper Keeper.

WIL WHEATON: Wow. KARI WAHLGREN: This is the best day ever. Hi, Mom! WIL WHEATON: It's my best day ever, too. Thank you for watching. Until next time, play more games. And we'll see you right back here on TableTop. ..."


Description from Amazon: SPACE the Final Frontier. The many resource rich planets within the limits of Federation territory await exploration and settlement. Build outposts and star bases to extract the resources. Using your fleet of starships, establish supply routes that enable you to boldly go further into deep space. Avoid resource shortages by trading with your opponents and Federation neighbors. If your opponents venture too far into your space, though, you might need to divert the Klingons to drive them away. because in the end, only one can be the Federation's greatest hero. Take up the challenges.  STAR TREK CATAN  transports the timeless game concept of the world's most acclaimed board game-THE SETTLERS OF CATAN-into the exciting Star Trek universe. The popular characters of the Starship Enterprise come into play through novel new "support cards." Build, trade and settle where no one has gone before. Since 1966, millions of Star Trek fans all over the world have watched the adventures of the Starship Enterprise, Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock. And since 1995, millions of enthusiastic players all over the world have played Klaus Teuber's The Settlers of Catan-a board game classic.  It's time to bring them all together on the Final Frontier. Includes 19 interchangeable planet sector tiles, 6 part game board frame, 28 outposts, 16 habitat rings (for upgrading outposts to starbases), 60 starships, 1 Klingon battle cruiser,2 special victory point cards, 10 support cards, 25 development cards, 4 building costs cards, 95 resource cards, 2 six sided star dice and rules & almanac.

Star Trek Catan Board Game
$77.00 - View on Amazon



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